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Restoring your identity and confidence after a challenging experience

Updated: May 21

As I've served hundreds of women, I've found that challenging experiences can alter your sense of identity and confidence. Women are especially prone to internalizing and self-blame. This might affect how you show up in future circumstances.


If you identify with any of this, here are some practical ideas that have worked for women in our community:


  • Find an empathetic listener who has been there. Hear other women's stories and realize that you're not the only one who has navigated these challenges. In the words of a woman we journeyed with:"I would like other women to know that whatever they are facing in the workplace, whether it is gender bias, marginalization, ageism, bad behavior, or dysfunctional toxic politics, and under whatever guise, you are not alone! There is a whole world of savvy and talented women who are seeing it too. They are taking notes and want to support you!"

  • Write a new narrative of what you experienced, with the help of other women. Often, others can help you identify threads of resilience, better than you can on your own. This comes in super handy when you have to speak about your experience in your job search, or in your new role!

  • Write your personal learning agenda -- instead of having a generalized sense of "I should improve", write down two or three things you'll adjust in your next role. Commit to learning, not perfection.

  • Celebrate stories of women who overcame challenges and made decisions from their inherent values and value (not just the stories that are neatly wrapped up in a bow).

  • Get professional support (e.g. therapy, trauma-care) to help you unwind the deeper threads. Sometimes, situations we face in our adult lives are a replay of patterns in the past (and sometimes they aren't). A professional can help you heal at a deeper level!


Some things we offer:

We run story workshops helping women understand the impact of traumatic/adverse experiences and begin the path of restoration.


"I really appreciated the diversity of the group and of course the moderators. I left with so many thoughts and reflections that I cannot even put into words, but if I had to find one or two, it would be grateful and powerful!"

We also have allies who listen and help you feel less alone:


"Karen held space to listen and validate my experience and feelings. When I met her, I still felt depleted, sad and angry about my sudden and unexpected termination, but over time my confidence regained and I felt heard and understood. "My Ally (Ivy) provided a safe space that has helped surface some underlying pain and hurt I didn’t know was held in before. With trust and comfort from your team, I’ve released it which then provided me the space for clarity. I’m very happy to have arrived in this place of peace in my journey, something I’ve longed for for awhile."

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